Road less travelled!

I am about to embark on a journey..which i do not would lead where?
It is not the road I am worried about, it's the destination..that makes me cranky..

Do I even know..what is the reason? I can feel weiredness within me..but can't exactly define it.. Can't explain it..even to myself...

why am I worried and who is that I am afraid of? Of myself...or of others..or of my reactions/mood swings that i can get after seeing others' reactions??

Why are these others so important??Why?? when none of them makes any difference to my life?? These others do not share, add,bring joy to my world..so why bother??

I guess..it's not them..it's me...my own self that is looking outside for reassurance of my talent and prestige..m unable to look completely within me and decipher the beauty that lies here..just here..with me...which needs to be seen and felt only by me..

hmm..m ..alas on the road less travelled and therefore the mystery is for me to unravel...!

restless!

Each day is bringing with it an amazing amount of restlessness! Restlessness is the essential nutrient for a evergrowing zeal..however,I have suddenly my fears, what if this goes terribly wrong..? Hell with you! Stupid that you are!<i> These days i feel a very strong urge to write down what i feel, need lest i forget it and ruin it forever..lest m unable to what i was set out to...this, my friend is a inner battle, fought in the deep corners of my heart...understood, only by me and borne only by me... I am just like the solitary reaper...who has set himself a task..and if he loses..he loses everything.. he is solitary..not alone though..as he has his best friend with him....himself..

Royal Dissonance!

It is not even funny!

The last one year has been nothing less than a roller coaster....Understanding marriage better and therefore your role in the same...figuring out things that you had never before even given a thought to and ..not forgetting the dependencies that u get used to...that u get used to rely on...and yesss..then there is a New identity..and a New identity CLASH..

hehehee....Identity clash coz...it is one thing when u CAN prioritise one thing over the other..however, what if you can't? What if YOU ARE GREEDY and you want everything..best of both the worlds.....what then??

Then...the royallll. confusion or in OB terms..COGNITIVE DISSONANCE( thank god ! I remember that term from my MBA days)

Ok..So in the past time..I have been greeted by failure more than once..Infact more than what I have faced so far, put together.That's why I said, it's not even funny!Yupp....and they have brought to me a low...the obvious low...but they have done something else as well...

They have made me believe that " Any thing that doesn't Kill you, makes you stronger."

and yess..here iam ...realsing that those failures were more of gateways to new domains..things that I have never tried before...the sheer fact that I am trying them out in itself is a great success...

and guess what...thank god for this year and its setbacks..m geared up for this coming year..and more relaxed in terms of facing the unknown..knowing that whatever I step into, success or not..I will make the best out of it!!

and nothing more can spell LOVE OF LIFE more than this for me!